Drink

 

The police did pull me over

From my  vehicle just today

Dear Ms, have you been drinking?

Is something they did say

Oh no! I said quite firmly 

No booze has touched my lips

I've been a true teetotal 

Since 1986 

But you are drunk. They told me

We can smell it from a mile

A hint amontillado

Lingered firmly on my smile

I've been to lunch, I whimpered 

Maybe the tea was spiked

I skipped the starter menu

as the pudding I did like

In truth I did have seven

I pondered, maybe eight

I think it did get crowded 

with sherry trifles on my plate.

Sherry trifles, mmm, said the cop

It's something new it seems

Driving under influence 

Of fruit and cake and cream

At least we know,  he uttered

The reason for mistakes 

You stole and crashed an ice-cream van

Then parked it in a lake