Monday, 20 March 2023

It's nearly April

 Once again, I will be doing my usual national and world wide poetry month. Or NaPoWriMo as it's called.  

Once again I will probably ignore all the events prompts and do my own theme. Mostly because I don't get this modern poetry.  But with the help of my fans and their own ideas! Goddess help me. I will get some good ideas.

This year the theme may be less long complicated verse or sonnets dedicated to well matured and crumbley cheese, lined in a economic wrapper! And bought in M&S.

To more shortened rhyming nonsense about cheese you would find in the bargain bin at Lidl 

Anyway what ever I do it will be bonkers!

Wednesday, 15 March 2023


 To the tune, in the navy. By the wonderful village people. This poem is dedicated to Diane "yogurt" Narraway. 

Where can you find real pleasure
In a lovely little measure
Full of goodies, yes it is, upon a spoon
Though some it gives the shudders
As it tends to come from udders
If you like it, well, you'll really like this tune*

We love yogurt
It comes in a little pot
We love yogurt
It's the only thing we've got
We like yogurt
It will have to really do
We love yogurt

With act of just pretending
Of a diet never ending
It says hello look I'm healthy yes I am
Look at least I'm eating fruit
Or a sort of substitute
Though fruity yogurt weighs less than a gram

We love yogurt
It really is a treat
We love yogurt
When there's nothing left to eat
We love yogurt
When the fridge is pretty bare
We love yogurt
It's not something I would share

We love yogurt
I do love the apricot
We love yogurt
Though it tends to look like snot
We love yogurt
It could really help my weight
We love yogurt
Thank god! It's out of date!

*Though probably not

Saturday, 18 February 2023

Friday, 10 February 2023


 I will be taking part in national poetry month again, so I will be back soon

Wednesday, 18 January 2023


 I thought I'd share a poem I found while having a clear out of memories. Written for my late grandmother's old people club, a favourite haunt for her and friends. And a club that I helped out with, making tea, washing up and the odd cuddle.

I think I may have written it in my early 20s, may have tweaked it a bit.

Humpty Dumpty was getting quite old
Join our club! He was told
He heard of fun and joined up gladly
I'm not so fit he said quite sadly

I fall off my wall as I'm not not agile
I find my poor old bodies fragile
So Hilda, ivy and Pauline too
Suggested covering his bum in glue.

Wednesday, 4 January 2023


 January is not a real month
It's the void that starts every year
The lack of joy in the season
To quench all that feeling of cheer

Flush out all the feeling of eating
The feeling of joy you must shred
For diets, fasting and jogging
Replace all of the goodies with dread

The latter, will make resolutions
To just finish the dullest of food
The toffees are getting quite melted
But to bin them, is really quite rude


 Sorry Marion 😂

Get your moped running
Pelting on the highway
Going more than 30
But only when downhill

Get your moped running
Swerving on the highway
Going less that 20
Because it's now uphill

Saturday, 24 December 2022

Mid. Oh you get the idea

In the bleak midwinter
Ozone off the chart
That will be the brussels
Causing methane farts

Friday, 23 December 2022

Midwinter again again

 In the bleak midwinter 
Lots of sales you'll see
Bought it for a tenner
It's now 50p

Midwinter again

 In the bleak midwinter
Queues are all you see
Over stocked on mince pies
Buy ten get one free

Midwinter again

 In the bleak midwinter
Sleet has caused a flood
All the snow has melted
Now we've left with mud

Me Nan

 Me nan came to see me last night
She offered me some advise
Do try and take care
Be alert and aware
when it comes to old Halloween night

Be careful of goblins and demons
Be careful of ghosts coming back
Be scared of the dead
like your great uncle Fred
And your great grandfather called Mack 

My nan she touched me quite fondly
Her hands were like ice and were blue
But nan? I did say
You died just last may
Should I also be scared of you too?

Thursday, 22 December 2022


 In the bleak midwinter
Have no place to go
Forgot to pack my shovel
Now I'm stuck in snow

Monday, 5 December 2022

Last Christmas

 Last Christmas I gave you my heart.

Then I died instantly 

Then you gave it away!

In a bag marked 'evidence'

Monday, 21 November 2022

Plant songs

Heard music does well to your plants
So I'll sing a little song
My spider plants been droopy
I hope we'll get along

May hum a few old operas
Or whistle showtime tunes
I'll rap along to country
While playing on teaspoons

My dulcet tones vibrating
While shouting thrash rock
It's gone all green and droopy
My poor old plants in shock