hypochondriacs part 1.

Dedicated to my mother and her best friend Lesley. Whose conversations have me in hysterics.

Here come Mildred and Bertha
             waiting for the bus into town
they sit on the chair on the bus stop
             both seem to be wearing a frown.

My varicose veins are killing me
             says Mildred holding on to her knees
these surgical stockings are awful
             but at least they do match my chemise.

Well said Bertha rather abruptly
            my hip replacement is not going well
I can hardly bend down for the paper
           nor walk my old dog Silly bell.

       Well my bed sores are worse said Mildred
           More badly than the ones that you had
the doc says I will soon be in hospital
           because they could be getting too bad.

   My bunions are bad said old Bertha
          my feet feel like two giant bricks
I may get a wheelchair with a motor
         because I barely walk well with sticks.

Well said Mildred my back is still aching
         three discs at a guess have just slipped
So much pain in my back causes fainting
        it does feel that my old backs been whipped.

Well said Bertha I think I have glaucoma
       I can barely see out of my eyes
they said I will soon need a blind dog
      the white stick won’t work cos I’ve tried