Out moded

Due to being an old fart.
This I have admitted from the start
some modern terms need explanation
for an outmoded girl of our nation.
My word today is called ‘Selfie’
(which is throwing my spell checker).
I saw it once on some new site
it gave to me a right old fright
I readied myself, time to debate
then learnt that it wasn’t a term for
ahem!  Masturbate?
My friends did all laugh.
It was not long ago that it happened before
uploading pictures, was quite a chore.
They asked me for Doc. I said. Ahem! No.
He is too far away to help me upload
they asked for Jpeg to be sent
Climbing gear equipment?
What a strange thing to ask.
No worse I guess than asking for food.
Post a picture of your dinner?
I am not in the mood.
In the back of my mind.
I really do fear
that they will soon post pictures
of what comes out of their rear.

If its any consultation I once thought you went to the optician to test your IQ
What am I saying?. I still do.