Door to middle earth

That giant cat upon the moor
that you heard killed all those sheep
Old Audrey said Cat! stupid tart
It was Barneys pet dog Sweep

The other day the cat was seen
among that mass of gorse
Of course when they got close
it was also Barneys 'orse

Then that stupid Bint across the road
she yells, a UFO!
we all look up and say aloud
A plane, its from heathrow!

Those crop circles in the meadow
are made by Barneys son
He got 200 quid in a hour
said this prank is so much fun.

Then that monster they saw in the river
white faced said 'expert!' john
with a boat and a net and some waders
it turned out to be a swan

anyway i must get a going
I've had fun. Its been much mirth
I have heard Barney found a doorway
That will lead to Middle earth.