Positively depressed

Help yourself, found in a quote 

I'm sure they're written as a joke

To help to combat feeling stressed

   Makes me positively depressed

Pilgrimage now to neverland

No scientific proof to hand

But what the hell give it a try

You'll laugh untill you cry 

Try yoga every other day

Breathe your sadness far away

Meditate on magic hills

Take sage and onion pills

"Yes it works" They say they are

after sticking crystals in their bra

Hugging trees, or drinking wee

Optimistically 

Oi witchy doctor quackery

Just keep your nonsense far from me

Your ways to combat being stressed

   Makes me positively depressed