Security

 A word I gave to the security man

In Tesco's, last fortnight 

Please keep a watch, I'm dodgy

Do keep me in your sight

'I'm dieting' I told him

Will-power I do lack

So do please shout "Oi watch it"

When I glance at random snacks

Please ban me from the crisp aisle

Announce when I do stray

An Asbo in the puddings

No chocolate bars today

Be thorough with the camera 

She looks aloof! Bizarre!

I'm sure you'll find I'm hiding 

A KitKat down my bra

In desperate times it's needed

A body search, with care

Family pack of wotsits 

found within my underwear.

So please Mr security man

I need your help I do

I'm sure I'd lose a ton of weight 

just running away from you.