Shoes

A bane when I visit a shoe shop 

that will fit a size seven in style

Can't fit my big lumps in a cool stylish pump

I lack any fashion Profile

Won't have any chance of some slingbacks

Or a delicate heel straight and high

No dainty in lace would hold them in place

as I fall on my face down the aisle 

Oh why are the choices so boring

I'm wide in the foot meaning beige 

I've been here since ten, looking mostly at mens

As their sizes go up to old age

Oh good this one fits, I'll buy twenty

There's a deal on the type says a chap

Not exactly the style, think the tartans Argyll 

With a nice reinforced velcro strap