unidentified flying leafblower

 As requested. A poem for Jenny Pellet

As I now am getting old 

I thought I'd treat myself

been raking up the leaves for years

Now I'm now bad with heath

So off I popped to B&Q

To look for something new

A leaf blower is a new thing

And not expensive too

I picked out quite a heavy one

Guessed big would be the best

Will sort those leaves out straightaway

No need to get so stressed

So there I was standing there

the thing strapped to my back

The nozzle pointing to the earth

Now leaves I will attack

The power in that silly thing

The force was so bizarre 

I levitated with such force

I was spotted on Radar 

Alarms went off at Gatwick

The RFC engaged 

Reports now on the BBC

of a UFL in range

At last when I was flying

I had some sort of luck

The whole thing did stop working

When I collided with a duck

I plummeted quite nicely

Took out a weather vane

Broke my fall on my neighbours child

so no reason to complain

But I made the best decision

knowing there was much at stake

I won't use a leaf blower

I will just stick to a rake.