I am

 I'm self-critical, Not typical as an English kind of lass
I'm quite elegant, intelligent, and known to have some gas
I don't wave them flags at royalty, nor stand up for the queen
And my choice of English language tends to lead to quite obscene

My political is critical though kept from public view
For the truth of how I feel, would make most English spew
I don't read the Sunday paper, and tabloids don't aspire
Though I use the Daily mail to help me start my odd bonfire

I'm offensive quite defensive of my faith and family
Though both are quite eccentric, if you knew, you would agree
I know little of the world, but know a lot of useless facts
And if you don't agree about it, then I will overreact

Though I like my little corner of this little England green
I don't care about Saint George, he's a dragon slaying fiend
I don't follow any football team, they all gets too much pay
 Maybe add a lion on the pitch, it would make my bloody day

I am really one with nature, like to garden in the sun
And I may seem rather odd to say that watching ants is fun
As a gardener I'm sensual with an odd phenomenon
And the thought of sales at garden shops does really turn me on

I've no passion with that fashion, if it fits then it will do
I buy bulk if it does fit, just one dress? I'll buy a few
No posh shoes I have square feet, they are the size and shape of brick
 been measured up in Clarks, I've only three to pick

 I'm self-critical, Not typical as an English kind of girl
I'm quite elegant, intelligent, my hair does tend to curl
I am single, hate to mingle, like to be right on my own
Proud to be an old eccentric, and a spinster who does moan