Batten bloody burg (day slightly late 17)

When I come for a mug of tea
at your place
If you offer me cake
You are a good friend to me
But if Battenburg is what I see
You are obviously not the best friend for me.

Battenburg cake. Tastes as bad as It looks

Or those fig rolls that look like Markies dog biscuits
And Gary baldy cakes which look like they contain dead flies.
And taste like they do.