Rap

 Dedicated to M C Kay public enemy on the turntable. Bring the noise, then turn it down because it's too loud.

I'm getting sued aren't I. 

Knees! How bad can they go

I'm old,

   need a bungalow

Arthritis in me legs inevitable

Not preventable 

I'm just mental...icle! 

Me! Got some pills for aching limbs

though can't see them, when the light is dim.

Lost me glasses, they won't behave

Then I found them, in the microwave. 

What silly mare, put them there?

Boobs! How low can they shake?

I'm fat

     due to so much cake

Pastry is basically detestable

Indigestible

Though, suggestible

Me! Got some pills for number one 

It's my diet I know, IBS not fun

But have a fondness for yummy things

I am blaming, you, Mr Kipling 

Say goodbye to apple pie.