Another fan, who really should go into hiding, decided Desiderata would be a good poem for me to ruin. Though it is one poem, no writer should take the micky out of. So i will then, but in rhyme.
Desperata (for the toilet)
trot awkwardly without grace
Do not look upon the face
of strangers passing
Mostly because they may talk to you
Utter words fast but inward thoughts.
i need a pee, i need a pee, get out of my way! i need a pee
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Thanks for commenting. You lovable weirdo