Murder most rural

 Our quaint English green

On the TV is always seen

Charming cottages and gardens that are bright

At night a fox does call

And screaming says it all

Someone once again been bumped off in the night

So the sleuth will then appear

With a sidekick on their rear

Someone churchy like a vicar or a nun

Or a lady or a man

Or a writer's biggest fan

And they'll solve it before the setting of the sun

Was it?

It seemed to be quite fine

They were killed with bailing twine

After citing that they had the right to roam

Dug an orchid that was rare

Mauled to death by a trained bear*l

After someone saw the pictures on their phone

It was just the other day

Murdered twix some bales of hay

And another that was trampled by some cows

For they say it was the groom

And of course we can presume

That he didn't like the reading of his vows

The list goes on

*1. Usually from a circus or zoo. Because bears are not roaming wild in the English countryside. Also add that we don't have skunks, or raccoons.