Welcome to the crone club (day 14)

I still thought I was young, I shock my head with fear
Said well I am under 40. Now its only takes a year,

One minute mid life crisis and the next day you are old
And the crones welcome me into the old fart fold.

I can sneeze, cough and wee myself all on the same page.
These are some of the magical powers now I'm a certain age
It takes hours just to get up from the place I sleep and lay
I can get away with saying things fecking kids today!

Bending over is a pain. I cannot reach my feet
I find now the chiropodist is such a lovely treat
I do not need to try, dont care now what I wear
I can wear what I bloody want without an end of care

I can sneeze, cough and wee myself all at the same time
I can fart as well, but carefully, now I am in my prime
Now everything is aching, but my minds is going fine
I really want to go out, but I sleep by half fast nine

My boobs hang rather low, I now don't need a bra
Just tuck them in your knickers if you need to go afar
I now don't need those shoes. No high heels now for me
I'm wide fit with some Velcro with a size that's triple E

I can sneeze, cough and wee myself all on the same spell
If I poop myself, I'm regular and therefore doing well
Just buy myself some long legged pants from Plus size dot UK
Yes I can sneeze and cough and wee myself all of the same day.