Mum's daughter

 

Mum always said I was the strangest daughter

I'd graze my knee, I'd run and then hide

It's cos my mummy saw my scratches 

I was fleeing away from a vat of peroxide

(Seriously, she used to lie saying it wouldn't hurt, she fibbed)

Mum always said I was the weirdest daughter

with curly hair, which mum called the pits

so many knots and so many tangles

My hair was cut off, she said, because I had nits

(I had curly hair, it was very upsetting, I don't want to talk about it)

Mum always said I was the loopest daughter 

I'd wade into streams, fresh water I'd drink

Wearing a fetching knitted swimsuit

i nearly drowned, wool tended to sink

(I drowned often, we lived near a river, then dad built a swimming pool, so I could drown while contained)

I am my mummys weirdest daughter 

Not shown you photos, but trust me instead

When people look it causes laughter

Half naked, wellies and a bucket on my head

(I'll dig them out one day, they are pretty hysterical)