Maiden

Maiden I call you

Bring us soon spring

Whisper your magic deep within

Maiden I call you

Wake from the earth

Pastels and green show rebirth

Maiden I call you

Your joy manifests 

Birds are now singing and building their nests

The yule cat

 

Around the yulemass season

A feline wanders near

Obsessed with new attire 

at this time of the year

No gifts of knitted items?

Or clothes that are brand new?

You'll make this kitty angry 

Oh yes he'll have a chew

A gift that had real giving

and practical in style

To keep you warm all winter

A present so worthwhile 

But now in times of Yulemass

The gifts of clothes are more

Unhelpful plus more tacky

and sometimes can cause stress

A waste of good intentions

As seen on goggle - box

Worn once, not out! Gawd blimey

With your matching tinsel socks

So please don't gift me jumpers

Or socks in style of tat

I'd rather be stark naked

and be eaten by the cat.

The yule lads

 

Can you hear them running

Between the white dryad

Tis winter time for mischief

The time for those yule lads

But Grýla, she is reeling

Her lads, less troublesome

In modern days of living

their antics equal none

She asked of me a favour 

Dear Audrey, have you time?

To update all my yule lads

with something more refined

The 13 yule lads of today.

Need a modern twist

Now I'll introduce them all

In this modern list

 Furclodder, wakes pets at stupid hours

Slungbung, blocks drains in bathroom showers

Batteries gone? Blame Dura'cell

Multiplugger stole the plugs as well.

Odd'desock, steals every last sock

Snapperwrapper, replaces chocolates with rocks

Redge'veg, steals everything but sprouts

At three in the morning,  the Rando'lad shouts

Slyply, nicks loo rolls and leaves one sheet

PurplePercy, steals the purple in the quality street

Nessdepresso steals coffee, and cocoa and tea

Sly'wifi. Changes passwords to those you can't see

Dangleping nicks Chrismas balls

Now who you'll blame when the yule lads call

Message

 I'll be back around crimbo 

Dear Cousin

 Dear cousin Chris.

I will be back posting soon. Thanks for following me

language

 Our mother tongue of English

Came here part refugee

This linguistic evolution

Was bought from over sea

A dash of words Germanic

Then Romans bought a few

A run of Norse invader

and Arabic numbers too

Be proud of speaking English 

It's changed historically 

Our words are multicultural 

As it should always be

 I do not know what to say

When a loved ones passed away

I do not know what to do

But know I'm always here for you

I do not know how trace

The falling tears upon your face

I do not know now what to do

But know I'm always here for you.

Physiotherapists

Twas a hot sorta day and the building felt cool

The writer of dates lurked aloft on her stool

With a bouquet of flowers and a bowl full of sweets

The bait of enticement while you wait on the seats 

But the name will be called and the dread and the fear

Of the physiotherapist who waits in the rear

Can I smell Patchouli?

Blurb

 I'm still here. Just not writing because it's far to hot to write.

Have you tried?

 Chronic illness and depression is bad enough without unhelpful hints for folk. 

After living on a wonderful forum learning about what folks say about hearing you are chronicly ill, they offer up the-

- Have you tried...

Yoga, stretching, 

any sort of exercise 

Breathing, yawning

border lining exorcise

Gain weight, lose weight 

Herbal complementary 

Just talk about your certain pain

with traumatizing therapy

Clean air, no air

Amble in countryside

Hug trees, and bees

Keep away from pesticide 

New age, no age

Meditation isn't far

The answer to your problems

sticking pretty crystals down your bra

Thinking, praying

Swearing and profanity 

No God? Why not?

that borders on insanity 

Thinking, winking

 sure it isn't karma?

The reason for my problems

I will ask the Dalai Lama

New pills, no pills

Money spent on clinical

Gas lit, no shit

Doctors being cynical 

New pain, old pain

Saying have you tried?

Yes I think I really have

But I really am quite tired

Just blurb

 New tablet, it's weird. Or it actually works and I'm just not used to it working like.

Fat

 I've gone back to the doctor 

My depression is quite bad

But speaking to this lady

has made me angry mad

She ignored all my problems

And suddenly just like that

The reason for depression 

Is down to being fat!!

I've had it since my late teens

My moods would fluctuate 

When I was an anorexic 

They never mentioned weight

Such patronising nonsense 

I'm glad I could now say

To blame my long term illness

On being fat today!!!!

Birds of the darker hue

 Us pagans like ravens, cos ravens seem cool

Us pagans like dark, which is odd for a rule

Liking Corvids in general, we are partial to crows

In darks hues in black from it's beak to its toes

We like birds with power, in our lore, in our heart

Plus they are photographic and they look good in art

Be Odin, Apollo or Morgan le fay

They would always pick black at the end of the day

It seems rather boring our pallete of shades

For pagans in general like natures cascade's 

for witches like purple and Druids like green

But it's always a raven or a crow that is seen

So let's change our feelings and start a new trial

Let's bring in some colour in birds in all style

Look forward to art showing old Merlin with charm

With a colourful budgie asleep in his arms 

Mostly

 Depression is mostly 

Trying everyday

To live

Finding hope

And cake. 

Mum's daughter

 

Mum always said I was the strangest daughter

I'd graze my knee, I'd run and then hide

It's cos my mummy saw my scratches 

I was fleeing away from a vat of peroxide

(Seriously, she used to lie saying it wouldn't hurt, she fibbed)

Mum always said I was the weirdest daughter

with curly hair, which mum called the pits

so many knots and so many tangles

My hair was cut off, she said, because I had nits

(I had curly hair, it was very upsetting, I don't want to talk about it)

Mum always said I was the loopest daughter 

I'd wade into streams, fresh water I'd drink

Wearing a fetching knitted swimsuit

i nearly drowned, wool tended to sink

(I drowned often, we lived near a river, then dad built a swimming pool, so I could drown while contained)

I am my mummys weirdest daughter 

Not shown you photos, but trust me instead

When people look it causes laughter

Half naked, wellies and a bucket on my head

(I'll dig them out one day, they are pretty hysterical)