National poetry writing month

National poetry writing month
A month of madness

Sunday, 27 April 2025

Just blurb

 New tablet, it's weird. Or it actually works and I'm just not used to it working like.


Sunday, 13 April 2025

Fat

 I've gone back to the doctor 
My depression is quite bad
But speaking to this lady
has made me angry mad

She ignored all my problems
And suddenly just like that
The reason for depression 
Is down to being fat!!

I've had it since my late teens
My moods would fluctuate 
When I was an anorexic 
They never mentioned weight

Such patronising nonsense 
I'm glad I could now say
To blame my long term illness
On being fat today!!!!














Monday, 7 April 2025

Birds of the darker hue

 Us pagans like ravens, cos ravens seem cool
Us pagans like dark, which is odd for a rule
Liking Corvids in general, we are partial to crows
In darks hues in black from it's beak to its toes

We like birds with power, in our lore, in our heart
Plus they are photographic and they look good in art
Be Odin, Apollo or Morgan le fay
They would always pick black at the end of the day

It seems rather boring our pallete of shades
For pagans in general like natures cascade's 
for witches like purple and Druids like green
But it's always a raven or a crow that is seen

So let's change our feelings and start a new trial
Let's bring in some colour in birds in all style
Look forward to art showing old Merlin with charm
With a colourful budgie asleep in his arms 















Sunday, 6 April 2025

Mostly

 Depression is mostly 

Trying everyday
To live
Finding hope
And cake. 

Saturday, 5 April 2025

Mum's daughter

 

Mum always said I was the strangest daughter
I'd graze my knee, I'd run and then hide
It's cos my mummy saw my scratches 
I was fleeing away from a vat of peroxide

(Seriously, she used to lie saying it wouldn't hurt, she fibbed)

Mum always said I was the weirdest daughter
with curly hair, which mum called the pits
so many knots and so many tangles
My hair was cut off, she said, because I had nits

(I had curly hair, it was very upsetting, I don't want to talk about it)

Mum always said I was the loopest daughter 
I'd wade into streams, fresh water I'd drink
Wearing a fetching knitted swimsuit
i nearly drowned, wool tended to sink

(I drowned often, we lived near a river, then dad built a swimming pool, so I could drown while contained)

I am my mummys weirdest daughter 
Not shown you photos, but trust me instead
When people look it causes laughter
Half naked, wellies and a bucket on my head

(I'll dig them out one day, they are pretty hysterical)











Friday, 4 April 2025

Artificial lacking

I don't trust
That new A and I
The reason for this 
I will tell you why 

its artificial 
It's in the name
It's stealing ideas
lacks original fame

It's lazy work 
It's fake news art
It's lack of smell
found in a fart

its plagiarism 
It's a cult to be joined
It's do it this way
with a hint of purloined

It's an unhelpful suggestion 
It's underlined red
It may hint at my spelling
..it has to be said.

Though I am sure I am safe
My words won't entice 
For if A I does read it
sure it'll think twice











Thursday, 3 April 2025

Beetroot



Be pickled, steamed, cooked or raw
This root is something I do abhor
who want to eat a plate of gore
I really hate beetroot 

Its vile and looks as if it's bled
It's turned my food a nasty red
My dinners now on it's deathbed
I really hate beetroot 

It colours scarlet, now it's pink
It's even dyed my blooming sink
The juice looks like a vampire drink
I really hate beetroot 

What is it doing inside me
I darted to the loo you see
The toilets red so is my pee
I really hate beetroot 

Wednesday, 2 April 2025

I never see

I'm sure it does happen but. I have observed.


I never see a normal thing
Of working women on lunch breaks
kicking about a football in the park
Or meeting up on breaks to lark

I never see women in general
Living in hardware shops
In garden centers no women queue
in groups around the barbeques

I never see women randomly 
looking lost in supermarkets
Or leaving trolleys out of line
while staring blankly at beer and wine.





Tuesday, 1 April 2025

Fish

 Day 1 of postering rhyming nonsense it's NaPoWriMo.


Fishes 

looking for love?
The best advice given
Plenty of fish in the sea
Such romance 
Seen a flounder I like
Hoping that it will soon fancy me

Looking for love?
The best advise given
Plenty of fish in the dark
Don't be so fussy 
have a wonderful time
Have a fling with a hammer head shark

Looking for love
The best advice given 
Plenty of types for a wish
I'm now in love
Seen a blobfish I like
Just look at his face, what a dish













Tuesday, 11 March 2025

Garden beasties

Dedicated to Jo and her love of garden beasties from the UK

She don't like slugs, she don't like snails
She doesn't like their slimy trails
Or any insect with a tail
Especially those worms
She don't like toads, she don't like frogs
Or creatures that live in a bog
She hates to see those pollywogs
Or anything that squirms

She don't like lizards nor those snakes
no slithering please, for goodness sake
Don't give those pesky scales a shake
or fleeing she shall go
She don't like bugs that poke and sting
Of whirly whatsits on the wings
And pretty much all funny things
She's very odd that Jo.


Saturday, 8 March 2025

Drunken pirate

 What shall we do with the drunken pirate
What shall we do with the drunken pirate 
Let's stand back and all admire it
Early in the morning 

He is intoxicated 
He is inebriated 
His style is now x rated
Half seas over pirate

Shave his eyebrows with a shaver 
Sharpie pens are a life saver
Fill his hat with cheesy quavers
Early in the morning

He is intoxicated 
He is inebriated 
His style in understated 
Half seas over pirate

Paint his face, so he looks the part
Chuck him in a skip or a wheelie cart
Tate modern, I've made a piece of art
Early in the morning 

He is intoxicated 
He is inebriated 
Critics say he now top rated
Half seas over pirate

Replace his hat with a traffic cone
Write a sign, if found send home
Please return to the O2 Dome
Early in the morning

He is intoxicated 
Still think he's inebriated 
Unconscious overrated 
Early in the morning

What shall we do with the drunken pirate
What shall we do with the drunken pirate 
So much to do to the drunken pirate
Early in the morning.

















Thursday, 27 February 2025

Writing helpful labels

 Twas the night just last Friday
and through the abode
With boxes a plenty, 
the men did unload

For this poet was moving
To a house now in town
As I did pack the boxes 
It was chaos unbound 

Well I got bored just writing
kitchen, bathroom and such
I decided quite madly
needs a good poets touch

For the labels on boxes
Helpful not for the task
"This label says Whips"
said the chap, had to ask

My labels were bonkers
I wrote 'contains skulls'
and bad taxidermy 
of roadkill seagulls

It's bottles of air
If it's heavy, it's bricks
and a label in red
said collection of sticks

I wrote labels a plenty
And I'm sorry dear mates
I realized, I'm foolish..
for I can't find the plates



 









Thursday, 6 February 2025

Good to talk.

 It's good to talk, I hear them say
hashtag part lie around today
A copy paste, unfretful thumb
As enthusiastic as humdrum

The band wagon, do show you care
I'm here, a click and awkward share
As fleeting as an April shower
Only available for 24 hours

Worse, glance down, look at your friends
Notice those now at wits end
Unless you message, let's chat, let's walk
Don't post the hashtag  'it's good to talk'

Triggered mental health and me
The pretence Pseudology
It's bad enough help is so rare
But please don't pretend you care












Saturday, 25 January 2025

Botox

 I know of many ladies

Using Botox, oh God why

The only filler I'd let near my face

is the filler in a pie





Wednesday, 22 January 2025

Love

 Love is a simple touch
A hand that says I'm here
A smile without any words
A laugh, a cry, a tear

Love is simply kindness
Love is being there
Love is something good
Love just means to care.